5 ways to annoy the Cullen family (twilight)

Couldn' fit carlisle xD

Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” Try to exorcise her and her evil ways. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.

When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.

Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.

Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen. Beg him not to eat you. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”

Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction. Tell her Carlise is a pedophile .

Ask how Tanya is. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.” Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?” Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.